Trust

Trust.
For me that word in the past has brought up some feelings, and let me tell you not all of those feelings or even most of them have been good or comforting in any way. My trust in others has been broken so many times that I had stopped counting.
Then I started putting my trust in God, really trusting Him, to the point of having to close my eyes to the circumstances surrounded by the worry and fear. Circumstances that in the worlds eyes would have no hope of changing and trusting that no matter the outcome God had a plan, and believing it was going to be what He wanted and knowing it was for my good, then really BELEVING He was in control.
Believe me it's scary, but I have a choice, I can trust Him or live in fear. Fear of being hurt, being made fun of, fear of failing, fear that it wont work out the way I had planned( it very rarely does). Or I can just jump! You know, close my eyes and take that step of faith that even if I don't know whats ahead, I can believe He's gonna be there with me the whole way. He has NEVER let me down, let me fall so far that I can't get back up, or left me hangin'.
Trust now is something I know I can have... in Him.
It's a trust that makes me take chances that I wouldn't have taken before, I'm even willing to take leaps of faith that a year ago I would have thought ridiculous, too risky and definitely out of the question, now trusting Him with the outcome. Trusting Him has made it possible to trust others, not because I think I'm not going to get hurt, I'm sure I will, its inevitable if you live in this world, but I know He's there and I trust He will take care of me when I do get hurt. It's funny how it all works and I don't have it all figured out, I most likely wont ever figure it out and I don't need to, He is my never failing unconditional safety.
You can trust me on that!
I decided to have a conversation with Him about something I was going through, this was the result...I hope you're blessed by it

Lord, are you there?
 Do you see me?
 Do you hear my heart breaking?
 Are you really here with me like you said you would always be, I don’t know if I can take another step without knowing your there, Guiding me.
I have so many fears, I’m so scared of the unknown.
 Does that mean I don’t believe you enough, that my faith couldn't move a mountain?
 Because if you haven’t noticed, I’m standing at the base of the largest mountain I've ever seen.
 I don’t know if I can move it, are you asking me to climb it? I don’t know how.
 Help me, just send me a sign, something to let me know your there.
 I don’t want to feel this way, I don’t want to do anything without you, and I am so tired and worn from trying to do it alone, I don’t think I have any strength left.

Child, I am here.
 Do you feel me
 I know your heart is breaking.
 I am with you, like I promised you I would be.
There is no where you can go to be away from my love for you.
 I go before you, I am ever-present with you, and follow after you.
 I know how scared you are, hold on to my hand, I wont let you fall.
 Nothing is unknown to me.
I have seen everything you have gone through
 You don’t need to fear.
 I love you.
 Do you see the flowers in the field? I sent those for you.
 Do you know the depth of the sea? My love for you is deeper still.
 It isn't measured by your faith in me, or what you can do on your own.
My love for you doesn't change.
As for that mountain? I can move it for you, according to my will.
 But if I decide you should climb it, I will give you everything you need.
 Because you see, you’ll be drawing closer to me.
 You see my sweet child, in your weakness, my power is made perfect.
When you put your trust in me I am there to strongly support you.
 You can do all things with me, don’t be afraid.
 Praise me for the life I have chosen just for you.
 Praise me for the work I've started in you.
 I am calling you by name can you hear me, trust me and see.